Personal Wellbeing

Dreamland Duty: Your Blueprint to a Blissful Slumber

September 21, 2022
Dr. Manan Mehta
Dreamland Duty: Your Blueprint to a Blissful Slumber

We recently conducted a survey of the young to middle-aged urban population and found alarming rates of sleep deprivation. Only a quarter of the respondents were getting 8 hours of sleep, and the majority of them indicated waking up tired and needing more rest. 

Besides being essential to life and survival, sleeping affects our mind body soul. Counting sheep is not as simple as closing your eyes and closing your eyes.

Neuroscientists define sleep as a state of active unconsciousness, in which the brain is in a state of relative rest and is reacting primarily to internal stimuli. Simply put, it is a state where the body slows down in almost all departments, none more so than the brain.

Why do we sleep?

It may sound strange, but we still don't know exactly why humans and other animals sleep. A variety of theories are being proposed in current research, including the Inactivity theory, the Restoration theory, the Energy conservation theory, and the Brain plasticity theory. 

It has been found that muscles repair themselves, tissues grow, proteins are synthesised, and growth hormones are released predominantly during sleep. The body has decreased metabolism by up to 10% during sleep. During sleep, the brain's structure and function are reorganised and grown.

Stages of sleep

There are essentially four stages of sleep – 3 stages of Non-Rapid Eye Movement, Sleep, and Rapid Eye Movement. These stages typically occur in 90 to 120-minute cycles. The body ideally needs 3 to 4 such cycles for restful rebuilding.

How much Should we sleep?

How much sleep do you need?
Photo by Gregory Pappas on Unsplash

Now, this is a tricky question. The importance of sleep in infants' and children's brain development explains why infants need to sleep upwards of 14 hours a day. Geriatric patients can swing from managing with 5 to 6 hours a day or needing nearly 12 hours of sleep as age advances.

A minimum of 6 to 8 hours of sleep is recommended for adults in order to maintain excellent emotional wellness. This includes a majority of it as interrupted night sleep with an optional power nap during the day; and no more than 9 to 10 hours of sleep.

"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." - Benjamin Franklin

Problems associated with sleep deprivation

What we do know for sure is that chronic sleep deprivation has tremendous effects on mood, productivity, immunity, and metabolism. 

In addition to an increase in the frequency and severity of infections, chronic sleep deprivation has been linked to a number of other health problems, including depression, anxiety, obesity, diabetes, heart attacks, and strokes, as well as reduced fertility rates and mental disorders.

What is insomnia?

What is insomnia?

Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

Insomnia is defined as difficulty falling or staying asleep accompanied by daytime impairments related to those sleep troubles.=

It can be of two types - chronic insomnia disorder and short-term insomnia.

Insomnia, whether short-term or chronic, has certain symptoms in common. There are different types of sleep issues associated with those symptoms, including those related to nighttime sleep when a person experiences at least one of those types of sleep issues:

  • Sleeping problems
  • Not able to lead happy healthy life.
  • Not being able to stay asleep through the night
  • Getting up too early in the morning
  • Teenagers and children who resist sleeping at bedtime
  • Children and teens who have difficulty sleeping on their own (without the assistance of a caregiver)

There are also several daytime symptoms related to sleeping problems that must be present as well:

  • Tiredness
  • Memory or attention problems
  • Working, studying, or socially performing poorly
  • Mood disturbances or irritability
  • Feeling sleepy
  • Hyperactivity or aggression are examples of behavioural issues
  • Motivation has decreased
  • Accidents or mistakes occurring more frequently
  • Sleep concerns or dissatisfaction

For chronic insomnia to occur, symptoms must be present three times per week for a minimum of three months. Short-term insomnia is characterised by less frequent episodes and less than three months of symptoms.

Having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep is not explicitly defined in the diagnostic criteria for insomnia. Adults may suffer from insomnia if they take longer than 30 minutes to fall asleep or are awake during the night for more than 30 minutes (20 minutes for children).

Causes

Recognising why you are not sleeping well is essential to treating the problem.

  • Lack of opportunity to sleep or a disruptive sleep environment. Poor socioeconomic status, cramped living, small children, or dependents needing care.
  • Medical disorders like Prostatomegaly or Diabetes causing frequent urination, OSA or sleep apnea, aches and pains, acid reflux disorder, thyroid disorder, etc
  • Sleep procrastination syndrome - it's the only me time and free time you get. So you keep scrolling mindlessly through social media sites and videos and articles.
  • Screen time: Most of our survey participants were on a screen minutes before sleep. Melatonin, an important sleep hormone, is regulated by the brightness of light falling on your retina. Gadget screens thus keep pushing the brain into an active state.
  • Anxiety - generalised, work-related, social, emotional. We all live in overloaded, busy, and stressful times.
  • Just not enough time due to work and travel.

All of us will be sleepless on some occasions or through certain phases of life. Recognise the issue and embark on a holistic approach toward solving it. Disciplined screen time, a more natural unwinding schedule, fixed waking hours, appropriate meals and meal times, and adequate exercise are some of the first steps we must take. 

Diagnosing and treating underlying medical disorders with a physician's help comes next. Then, if need be, some pharmacological support. Emotional, social, financial, and even generalised anxiety shouldn’t be ignored. 

An overwhelming majority of our respondents (primarily 25-40-year-olds) stated work and work-related anxieties as major obstacles to adequate sleep. Emotional anxieties were a close second. Therefore, workplace wellness programs are more than necessary to help employees. 

If only a fourth of our young, upwardly dynamic population are waking up naturally and feeling fresh, there is definitely something afoot that doesn’t augur well for the future. So pull up your eye masks and switch off the lights! Enough of hand sanitisers. It's time for some sleep hygiene.

Good luck and Good night!

Workplace

How to Battle Gaslighting and Toxic Workplaces

March 5, 2024
Mohit Sahni
How to Battle Gaslighting and Toxic Workplaces

Work should be a place where you feel motivated, valued, and have opportunities for growth. Unfortunately, toxic work environments and insidious tactics like gaslighting can make your professional life a nightmare.  Gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation, involves making someone doubt their own perceptions, memories, and even their sanity. It often manifests in power imbalances and can erode your confidence and well-being.

Understanding these destructive dynamics is the first step towards protecting yourself and creating change.

Identifying Gaslighting: Red Flags to Watch Out For

Gaslighting: Learn the Warning Signs
Denial and Contradiction

Gaslighting can be deceptively subtle, making it difficult to recognize immediately. However, gaslighters often rely on certain patterns of speech and behavior designed to confuse and undermine you.  Let's look at some of the key tactics they use:

Denial and Contradiction

Gaslighters might flatly refuse to acknowledge something they said or did, even when you have proof.  This direct contradiction of your memory can leave you feeling disoriented and questioning your own experiences. For example, you might confront a colleague about their disparaging comments during a meeting, only to be met with the response, "That never happened. You must have misheard."

Trivialization and Minimization

When you express frustration or hurt, a gaslighter might downplay your emotions, making you feel like you're overreacting or being too sensitive. This is a way to invalidate your experiences and make you doubt your own feelings. For instance, you might express exasperation over being consistently overloaded with work, and they respond with, "Stop being so dramatic.  Everyone has a heavy workload sometimes".

Shifting Blame and Guilt-Tripping

Gaslighters are masters of redirecting blame.  Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, they twist situations to make it seem like everything is your fault. This manipulation can leave you feeling guilty and ashamed, preventing you from advocating for yourself. For example, when a project goes wrong, the gaslighter might say, "This entire disaster is your fault. If you hadn't been late with that report, none of this would've happened."

Gaslighting by Proxy

Sometimes, a gaslighter enlists others to participate in their manipulation. They might spread false rumors about you to colleagues or paint a misleading picture of your behavior, further eroding your confidence and isolating you within a team. For instance, a gaslighting boss could speak poorly of your work ethic to other managers, leading to a widespread perception of you as an unreliable employee.

Emotional Withholding and Silent Treatment

Emotional manipulation is a powerful tool for a gaslighter.  They might suddenly become cold and distant, refusing to talk or withdrawing affection as a form of punishment or to instill a sense of insecurity in you.  An example of this would be a gaslighting romantic partner who, following a minor disagreement, refuses to speak to you for days, leaving you feeling bewildered and questioning your actions.

Discrediting Your Perceptions and Reality

The ultimate goal of gaslighting is to make you doubt your sanity – your memory, your judgment, and your very perception of reality. Phrases like "you're crazy," "that's just your paranoia," or "you're too sensitive" are common ways to chip away at your confidence in your own experiences. Imagine you bring up a clear inconsistency in a story the gaslighter has told, and they respond with, "You're clearly imagining things. Honestly, you might want to see a therapist."

Remember, gaslighting doesn't always manifest in blatant outbursts. Sometimes, it can be hidden within seemingly harmless jokes laced with criticism or backhanded compliments designed to sting. Pay attention to how your interactions make you feel.  And most importantly, trust your gut – if something consistently feels off, it likely is.

The Toll of a Toxic Workplace

Toxic workplaces aren't just about one bad apple. They are characterized by patterns of dysfunctional behavior that  impact everyone:

  • Lack of Communication: Healthy workplaces have transparency and open feedback. Toxic ones thrive on gossip, secrecy, and leaving employees in the dark.
  • Unrealistic Expectations and Pressure: Constant unreasonable demands and an atmosphere of fear and negativity lead to burnout.
  • Bullying and Harassment: This can be overt or subtle – insults, put-downs, exclusion from important meetings, or being micromanaged.
  • Favoritism and Lack of Recognition: Hard work goes unrewarded, while certain individuals receive preferential treatment, creating resentment and distrust.

Strategies to Combat Gaslighting and Toxicity

Surviving (and thriving) in these environments takes a combination of self-preservation, gathering support, and proactive steps to create change.

1. Trust Your Gut and Validate Yourself

Your instincts are powerful.  If something consistently feels off, honor that feeling.  Don't let anyone undermine your perception of reality. Practice self-affirmations and remind yourself of your strengths and capabilities.

2. Document Everything

Maintain a thorough record of incidents. Include dates, times, specific details of conversations, and the names of any witnesses. Save emails, project notes, and anything that provides a concrete record, both for validating your experiences and potential escalation.

3. Build a Support Network

Don't fight this battle alone.

  • Trusted Colleagues: See if others share your concerns and experiences. They can offer both emotional support and practical advice.
  • Friends, Family, Therapist: A safe space to vent, process your feelings, and gain outside perspective is invaluable in combating gaslighting.
  • HR and Employee Assistance Programs (EAP): If available, utilize these resources for guidance navigating your company's policies and procedures.

4. Set Boundaries

This is essential for regaining a sense of control:

  • Limit Contact: Minimize interactions with the gaslighter when possible. Choose email over in-person conversations for clear documentation.
  • Learn to Say "No": Respectfully decline requests outside your job responsibilities or that negatively impact your workload and well-being.
  • Assertive Communication: Practice clear, unemotional communication without aggression. State facts, avoid accusations, and focus on solutions.

5. Protect Your Mental Health

Toxic workplaces and gaslighting take a toll. Prioritize self-care habits:

  • Stress-Reduction Techniques: Deep breathing, mindfulness exercises, and meditation can calm your nervous system in the moment.
  • Physical Well-being: Focus on sleep, a balanced diet, and regular exercise to manage stress and boost resilience.
  • Therapy: Professional therapy offers tools to unpack the gaslighting, process its impact, and build long-term coping mechanisms.

6. Focus on What You Can Control

  • Your Reactions: While you can't control the gaslighter, you can choose how you respond. Limit emotional outbursts and strive for neutral responses.
  • Your Perspective: Reframe their manipulative behavior as a reflection of their own insecurities, not a deficit in you.
  • Your Goals: Stay focused on what you want to achieve professionally and don't let negativity derail your progress.

When Do You Stay or Walk Away?

Sadly, sometimes the best option is leaving a toxic workplace.   Consider these factors:

  • Severity and Impact: Is this a personality conflict with one individual or pervasive dysfunction in the company culture? Is the damage to your well-being too severe to stay?
  • Potential for Change: Does HR take these issues seriously? Have you tried addressing concerns with leadership, and is there any openness to improvement?
  • Alternative Options: Do you have another job lined up or the financial means to quit before securing one? Having a plan eases the transition.

If You Choose to Stay: Additional Strategies

If leaving isn't immediately possible, focus on harm mitigation:

  • Limit Interactions: Minimize contact with the gaslighter when possible. Communicate via email for documentation.
  • Grey Rock Technique: Become emotionally unresponsive, uninteresting to the gaslighter, and therefore a less appealing target.
  • Focus on Your Goals: What do you want to achieve in this role? Prioritize deliverables and minimize getting sidetracked by the negativity.
  • Build Your Exit Strategy: Start networking, update your resume, and actively look for opportunities that align with a healthier work environment.

Remember: You Are Not Alone

Gaslighting and toxic workplaces are, unfortunately, far too common.  By building awareness, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you can protect your well-being.  If possible  be part of the change by advocating for a healthier work culture. You deserve a workplace where you feel safe, respected,  and empowered to do your best.

Workplace

How to Truly Satisfy Your Employee, According to Harvard Research

September 2, 2023
Mohit Sahni
How to Truly Satisfy Your Employee, According to Harvard Research

In the corporate maze, there's always a buzz about what truly keeps employees ticking. Is it the hefty paycheck at the end of the month? The fancy job title? Or perhaps the alluring office perks like free lunches and game rooms? But what if the real secret to employee happiness isn't found in any of these? 

What if it's something more fundamental, more intrinsic? According to a Harvard Business School professor, there's one standout factor that holds the key to employee contentment. And no, it's not about the size of their wallet or the view from their office window. It's about being recognized for their accomplishments, about knowing that their work truly matters.

The True Value of Employee Happiness

When you picture a thriving workplace, what comes to mind? Perhaps it's state-of-the-art facilities, innovative projects, or impressive revenue charts. But beneath these tangible indicators, there lies a more profound metric, often overlooked: employee happiness.

It's not just a feel-good factor. Employee happiness is a potent business catalyst. Study after study highlights a simple truth: happy employees work harder. It's not about clocking extra hours but about the quality, creativity, and dedication they bring to each task. Their enthusiasm becomes infectious, elevating team morale and driving projects forward with a zest that's hard to replicate.

Moreover, happiness isn't just about boosting performance in the present. It has long-term implications. A content employee is more likely to stay, reducing turnover rates and the associated costs of hiring and training new personnel. They become brand ambassadors, their satisfaction radiating beyond office walls to potential clients and recruits. And here's a kicker: happiness makes people functionally smarter. It's as if joy fine-tunes the brain, enhancing decision-making, problem-solving, and innovative thinking.

Decoding Happiness: Myths vs. Reality

The quest for the secret sauce of employee happiness often takes us down some well-trodden paths. We think, surely, a fatter paycheck will spark joy. After all, doesn't everyone want to earn more? Or perhaps it's about status, with high-flying job titles and corner offices being the coveted trophies. Maybe it's the culture – those hip workplaces with bean bags, team outings, and no-jerks-allowed policies.

But here's the twist. Dive into the data and these commonly held beliefs start to crumble. Higher pay and elevated job titles, while appealing on the surface, don't correlate directly with increased happiness. Whether you're in a blue-collar role or a white-collar one, the happiness meter tends to hover around the same mark. Similarly, the nonprofit versus for-profit debate? It's a draw when it comes to job satisfaction.

Harvard's Golden Nugget

When it comes to unlocking the mystery of employee contentment, Arthur Brooks, a renowned professor from Harvard Business School, offers a refreshing take. It's not about the paychecks with many zeros or a corner office view; it's about something profoundly human. Brooks insists that the cornerstone of happiness in the workplace lies in a "sense of recognized accomplishment." It's about feeling that your contributions at work don't just vanish into the ether but are noticed, valued, and celebrated.

In a candid conversation with HBR, Brooks delves deeper, answering the pivotal question: What kind of jobs truly make employees happy? The surprising revelation? Neither higher pay nor a grandiose title guarantees happiness. Blue-collar or white-collar, for-profit or nonprofit - employees across the spectrum report similar levels of job satisfaction. 

So, if money and status aren’t the magic potions, what is? It boils down to a sense of achievement and the recognition that comes with it. When employees feel that they're genuinely making a difference and that their achievements are acknowledged, that's when they truly shine.

This insight reframes our understanding of job satisfaction. It’s not about external accolades but an internal recognition of value. Employees crave the validation that their work has meaning, that they're driving change, and that this change doesn't go unnoticed. As Brooks succinctly puts it, happiness stems from "earning success" and feeling that you're "creating value" both in your life and in your professional journey.

The Universal Craving

Employees, regardless of their role or rank, have an innate desire to be seen, acknowledged, and validated. This isn't just about vanity or seeking praise. It's a deep-rooted psychological need that ties back to our very essence as humans. When our efforts are recognized fairly, it sends a signal that we're valuable and that our contributions matter.

Arthur Brooks' insights shed light on this very sentiment. He suggests that beyond the trappings of high pay or lofty job titles, what employees truly crave is a transparent and genuine acknowledgment of their contributions. It's about feeling that their efforts are moving the needle, making a difference, and being noticed for it. When there's a clear and direct link between what an employee does and the recognition they receive, it fosters a sense of purpose and belonging.

Yet, many organizations miss the mark here. They pour resources into bonuses, perks, and other tangible rewards, overlooking the simple act of genuine acknowledgment. But the truth is, when employees see their hard work reflected in the company's success and feel a personal connection to that achievement, it creates a powerful motivation loop. 

It's a reminder that their role, no matter how big or small, has a meaningful impact. Happiness, in this context, springs from the simple joy of knowing one's work resonates and leaves a mark.

When Purpose Outshines Pay

When it comes to rewarding employees, many companies instinctively reach for the financial lever, thinking bonuses or raises are the ultimate tokens of appreciation. While fair compensation is undeniably important, it's not the sole ingredient in the recipe for genuine job satisfaction. 

Adam Grant's research at Wharton drives this point home. In a compelling study, call center workers who heard firsthand how their efforts changed someone's life saw a whopping 20% jump in revenue. It wasn't a bigger paycheck that fueled this surge, but the profound realization of the impact of their work.

So, before you consider adding another zero to a bonus or installing the latest office gadgetry, take a moment to reflect on the essentials. Do your employees genuinely see the value of their contributions? Do they feel acknowledged and appreciated for the difference they make? In the quest for a happier workplace, it's clear: a sense of purpose and genuine recognition far outweigh the allure of monetary rewards. Meaning, it seems, truly does trump money.

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